The luckiest...
Hi everyone,
Today is another of the hardest days of my year. Today marks 3 years since my beautiful mum passed away. I still feel numb. I want to stick my head in the sand and pretend that none of it happened, but the achingly difficult reality is that it did. I graduate this week and my mum won't be there to see it, that absolutely kills me.
All of this aside though, it's days like today that make me realise how amazingly lucky I am, and have been throughout my life. Yes, i've lost some of the people closest to me, people that you never expect to loose so soon, i've had many an issue myself medical and otherwise, but i've come out the other side. I'm lucky to have such an incredible family. I'm lucky to have spent (nearly) 5 years with the most incredible person who has stuck with me through things nobody should ever have to. I'm lucky to have some of the greatest friends a girl could ever wish for. I'm lucky to have gone to university, a university that I loved and get the degree classification that I worked so very hard for. I'm lucky to have, if only for 18 years, known one of the strongest, most inspirational women I could ever wish to meet and i'm luckier still to have called her my mum. Although today is a sad day, as i'm sure it always will be, I don't want to feel sad. My mum was an amazing woman, someone whose strength and determination showed no bounds and who loved absolutely unconditionally. She taught me so much. She wouldn't want me to sit around today, crying over the past and for that reason I won't. I'll just feel lucky.
Apologies for the slightly depressing subject matter of this. I don't like to use my blog as an outlet for emotional turmoil, thats not what it's there for, but sometimes, even on our little corners of the internet, it's good to mull things over. Blogging will resume with the usual cheerier Sopho this week, I have some posts and a possible video lined up for you all, I hope this goes some way to explain why i've been missing in action for a couple of weeks. I feel very lucky that I have people like my lovely blog readers who are interested in what I have to say enough to want to follow this little blog so thank you, it really does mean a lot.
Lots of love,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, and I hope today goes by with lots of happy (and sad) remembering. It does get easier with each year that passes, but the sadness never goes away, and it catches you out at times. It will be four years since my dad passed away on Thursday, and this year seems different to last year. We always put a remembrance in the local newspaper, and I usually find the words to express how we're all feeling. In previous years they have been mostly of sadness, but this year the overly sad words don't quite fit. It's still a sad time, and a sad thing, but somehow it feels as though the words should be a happier remembering this year. I hope you find that the pain eases slightly as time goes by xx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this comment hannah it really did make me feel so much better. So sorry to hear about your dad, it definitely gets a little easier with time. It's nice to know that theres others that can empathise. Big hugs xx
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